And now for something near and dear

I have decided in my benevolence as dictator and despot (both, cuz I SAY so) of this site, that I will bestow a gift upon you, gentle reader.

"Cool!" you say. "What?"

Well- it is a guide for being unemployed and not totally losing touch with sanity and reality at the same time.

The key here is to keep your spirits up. And I do NOT suggest doing this by drinking. I know it's disappointing to some of you, but I really think that becoming an alcoholic, even recreationally would be a deterrent to finding a job. No one wants to hire an applicant who shows up to an interview smelling like the inside of a Colt 45 bottle. Trust me. I mean well.

I'll give a point by point. It might take me a few days- I have learned that it makes time move faster to fracture tasks down into increments and spread them over several days if possible. Kind of like in the movie About A Boy, but without the adorable stylings of Hugh Grant.

Step one- get out of bed. No need to rush here- you can listen to the traffic news on NPR for a while and listen to the spouse getting ready to leave. But do try to get up before he leaves the house- it shows support for his efforts.

Step two- drink copious amounts of tea (yes, I'm caffienated again- it was necessary). That provides the ritual to waking up that is lost when not having to rush around getting ready to go to work.

Step three- turn on the tv. I recommend BBC America in the morning prior to 11:00 AM (when some Judy Dench show comes on- I don't like it). It's a gentle way to remind yourself that others exist in the world, and the shows are about gardening and making your home pretty and auctioning off your junk. Refreshing.

Step four- get your blog updates posted. It's nice to establish an important routine. Your public awaits your wisdom. Get on with it.

Step five- try to get dressed by noon. There's no excuse to letting this one slip. Unless you are sick. Then you're absolved. Otherwise, get with the program and be dressed by lunch.

Other helpful pointers- split up feedings of the cats- they love the attention and it makes the day go quickly. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and later night snack. They will remind you. They have watches in their tummies like the crocodile from Peter Pan.

I'll return to this theme later- see above.