Thursday, March 31, 2005

From The Corsair

This is funny stuff, folks. The FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND whines about a little press attention- how exactly does he plan on dealing with being the ACTUAL King of England? Does he think people will be content to just leave him alone when in the midst of a fit of pique? Oy.

Granted, there's no earthly reason for Prince Charles to love the press. They blasted his son on his quixotic decision to wear a Nazi uniform to a dubiously named "Natives and Colonials" soiree (Averted Gaze). The media has been merciless in their coverage of his betrothed. But try, Prince Charles ... really tax yourself not to lend voice to your utter media disgust by sprouting what can only be properly construed as "free-verse" while near an live mic. According to the Sun:

"THE PRINCE of Wales's contempt for the press was made abundantly clear today when the grumpy groom-to-be faced the cameras just a week before his wedding.

"During the brief five-minute media event in the village of Monbiel, on the outskirts of Klosters, Charles looked uncomfortable as he was asked by BBC TV reporter Nicholas Witchell about his feelings in the run-up to his wedding.

"'I'm very glad you have heard of it,' the Prince said.

"But he also uttered: 'Bloody people. I can't bear that man anyway. He's so awful, he really is.'
Charles added: 'I hate these people.'"

Exercise your inner bitch, Charles.

(Wow. Sure glad he's got SUCH an admirable stiff upper lip kind of attitude- must make his mother proud...)

Now this is FUNNY!

I was on the Howard Stern website (pre-shower- I'm all cleaned up now) and saw the following:


Howard didn't sleep well last night. His tooth was hurting again and it woke him up around 2AM. He decided that eating a bowl of shredded wheat would put him to sleep, but that didn't work so he read a magazine. By 3 am, he was still up so he broke out the big guns and decided to take matters into his own hands. He felt that if he didn't get sleep, the show would suffer and he'd be miserable. He knew he had to pleasure himself. Howard said it only took a few seconds, and he's glad because if Beth woke up and saw him doing that in his bathroom, she probably would have freaked out and thought he was a big perv. He finished, did some things to let the euphoria wear off, and hopped into bed and slept like a baby. After last night's ordeal, he's sure he's grinding his teeth now and said his dentist is making him a custom mouth guard to prevent him from grinding.

(Now did will this really prevent Howard from "grinding"??)

Sorry- I really couldn't stop myself. It's just too much for me to take- that nasty Howard Stern...God....I need a job....

As Darrin says- cats make shitty personal trainers. Here is Timmy working out- we are starting to call him Pooter Pig- as he is communicating using a sophisticated system of grunts and's sad, really.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Palette cleanser after the MJ story- this is from Michael Schumacher's sports bar at the Karting track in Germany. Ohhh yeah. What I wanna know is if I go there, will he be there too? (and I mean that in only the non-creepiest, most non-stalking kind of way, of course)

OMG- She did NOT say that!!!

Wow- this is probably the stupidest woman in the world. Really. No hope. Not only wasn't she watching the train wreck a comin- but she had no access to tv, the news, or any other form of media. Wow. Elvis would be so proud.


NEW YORK -- So what does Lisa Marie Presley think about her marriage to Michael Jackson way back when? "Holy mother of God" was her response on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" on Monday.

Presley told Winfrey she was naive when she met Jackson and that he snowed her over and she wanted to help him with his problems.

"At that time, the way that he did that looped me into, 'Oh my God, you poor misunderstood soul, I feel really bad for you,'" the 37-year-old singer said.

She said Jackson tried to ease her fears that he was weird.

"He went very much out of his way to deprogram me of any previous ideas I might have had of him. He sat me down and said, 'I know you think this and I know you think that.' He was completely normal."

Presley and Jackson were married from 1994 to 1996. Some have openly questioned the nature of their relationship, but Presley says the marriage was real and she truly did love Jackson.

"Do you think he loved you?" Winfrey asked Presley.

"It's hard for me to answer that question. I don't know the answer to that, to be honest with you," Presley said.

"Do you think that he loved you as much as he could?" Winfrey asked.

"Yes, as much as he was capable of loving somebody," Presley said.

Winfrey then dug a little deeper, prompting her guest to squirm.

"Do you think he used you?" Winfrey asked.

"This seat is hot, let me tell you!" Presley answered. "Do I think he did? All signs point to yes on that. I can't answer for him."

It's all about spring- renewal- new life- proms n' promises. In that order. Only promise to your prom date. Or it doesn't count?...If you saw my prom date- shudder...

And now new good news

I am officially an aunt. For the first time in my life. Spouse's lovely sister had a tiny little baby yesterday evening. Well, I suppose she didn't think it was so tiny as it agressively pushed itself out of her nether regions. But she is, in fact tiny. Smaller than my cats. Smaller than a breadbasket.

We're hoping to visit soon. But until then, a cheery and hearty Hello little girl!!! Is in order. We're gonna be the BEST aunt and uncle ever. I spent a lot of time growing up with my aunts and uncles- they had big impact. Good and bad. Not the time or place for analysis- but they are important. And it's quite a responsiblity. I take it seriously. It will be good.

So without a blog

Yesterday was sadly blog free. The blogger interface was all mucked up- so I was voiceless. It was truly tragic. What did I want to say, you ask? Well- I dunno- I forget now. It's all smoke and mirrors here, folks. And bright shiny things distract me. Like that little box with the pictures in it that sits in the living room- fascinating.

Oh yeah- yesterday was Tuesday. And I read somthing interesting out in blog land. And then since I didn't process it via my blog, I forgot all about it. So does this indicate the relative importance of this medium? Is it all forgetable? Possibly. I'm gonna say sure. But whatever. It's all about the fun (not the O).

Good things coming down the line this week- F1 in Bahrain. Yeah. And I wanna see my Michael do something with that bold hunk of car. Not just suck it up. I want him to make me forget the fiasco that has been the season for Ferrarri so far. Tall order, you say- not for my Michael. He was born for this. And to quote Kiss (I promise- won't do it again- I feel sullied even doing it this once) I was made for lovin you baby, you were made for lovin me! (does anyone else remember their one disco hit??? Really- it happened. It was AWESOME!!!)

Another thing to look forward to- another week down on the MJ trial. It makes me have a headache. Stoopid trial.

And as good things come in threes- I'll be having dinner soon with some wonderful friends. They make me happy. When skies are grey- like usual in Seattle.

So tie it all up in a pretty bow, and make it a happy thing. Bright shiny and sparkly. And distracting (see above- me and shiny things, etc.).

Something new

The quote at the top is from a movie. I'll be changing it tomorrow to another one from the same movie. Your challenge- guess the movie! And Spouse is excluded from the quiz- he blew his chances already (stumped, suckah!). And Spouse- don't even think of anon posting- that would be cheating. And nothing is worse than cheating on your wife's blog.

About the movie- think formative years. Think when first viewed- wow- shattering- kinda stupid- best movie ever for about 3 weeks. And that's enough hinting for now. Have fun!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Blogger be down

and life isn't quite the same. I'll post more when it's up and running properly. The bastards!!! (like I should be bitching- it's free!)

Monday, March 28, 2005

Titter, titter

From Gawker:

Break, Blow, Burn
By Camille Paglia
Reviewed by Clive James

We basically zone out during any discussion of poetry, and our eyes certainly did that thing where they sort of close, but not all the way, during Clive James’s review of Camille Paglia’s poetry anthology “Break, Blow, Burn” — until we got to the part where James Google-searched Paglia for half an hour:

And what is Paglia doing, writing that an actress as gifted as Anne Heche has “the mental depth of a pancake?” How many pancake brains could do what Heche did with David Mamet’s dialogue in “Wag the Dog?” And what about her performance in “One Kill?” No doubt Heche has been stuck with a few bad gigs, but Paglia, of all people, must be well aware that being an actress is not the same safe ride as being the tenured university professor of humanities and media studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia.

First off, did Clive James just spend 17 lines discussing Anne Heche in a review of a poetry anthology? Secondly, did Clive James just backhandedly compare Camille Paglia to Anne Heche? Thirdly, was Paglia just “served”? Fourthly, is it now “on”? And Fifthly, who should be more offended - Paglia or Heche?

(For those who don't know- Paglia is a pain in my ass- that woman....harumph.)

Nothin sadder than a spelling-challenged garag sale in the rain. On Easter Sunday.

Criterion Collection- they RULE!

Ok- maybe some effect on dreaming

On TCM last night they showed La Passion de Jeanne d'Arc. The silent 1928 version- French. It was profoundly moving. I have rarely had such a response to silent films- despite my growing admiration for the form. This one was a humdinger.

The director did some interesting things- filming without any panoramic shots (take THAT Mr. DeMille), mainly close-ups from below. Lots of spartan costumes and interiors- no makeup (according to the host this was for reality sake)- and no regard for vanity. It was rough going. Probably the most psychologically naked movie I've seen in a very long time. I couldn't watch part of it (having to do with bleeding Joan). I am squeamish (I've never made it through Blue Velvet despite my admiration for David Lynch). But this was something else again.

But there were no raccoons. Thus I can't draw a direct correlation...

Of dead raccoons and kings

All right all of you armchair analysts out there- get ready! Today we discuss my veddy veddy strange dream.

I was being driven to my Dad's house (the one I grew up in, not the one he lives in now). It is early morning. We drive by a house with a large black bear in the front yard eating garbage. I point it out to the driver and we continue. The next house has a mother springer spaniel with puppies sleeping on a concrete slab.

Then horror of horrors we arrive at Dad's house. There are piles and piles of dead and bloated raccoon corpses in the yard. We turn the corner and the piles are stretched all along the corner lot. I am not pleased. There is no smell, thankfully- but there seems to have been raccoonamageddon. Some kind of infestation? I have to go in- she stops the car. The mailbox is overflowing with CDs that my Step-mother has ordered. I take an armful of them and go towards the house.

Disturbing, yes. Monday morning with raccoons? Please. Did I eat anything odd before retiring for the night? Only half of a piece of chocolate cake (yes, it was delicious, thank you.). Did I imbibe- not on a school night. Well. Any suggestions would be appreciated. And, yes, I like raccoons. They are cute- not cuddly- and yes, they are vermin- but I tend to be among the let them live folk. I've never shot one. And I avert my gaze when I see them dead on the highway.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Today's theme is driving. In the sunshine- and like all magical thinking, perhaps my wishing will make it happen!

Head's up!

Now that the showcases are in storage, and that particular joy ride is over I'm going to have to hit the job search in earnest.'s the warning. If you have contacts that might prove useful for me finding a decent job in the Seattle area, and if I know about them, I'll be asking for networking info. It is time. And Spouse will thank you for getting me out of the house and earning my keep! He has been wonderful, but I know that he will be much less stressed if we have two incomes. And we can also look at getting an apartment in the city itself. Yes, I have been posing as a Seattlite- but that's all it is. A pose. I am in reality a suburban stay-at-home wife. How cliche, but true. We aim to move up in the world. It's our oyster and we'll take no prisoners! If we can make it there, we can make it anywhere! Ahem....anyway- girl has to find a job.

Cat in a box

So I picked up Elsa in her box yesterday. The vet does a nice job of presentation- nice little wooden box with a shimmery ribbon on it- I am impressed. In Arizona with the last cat we had cremated we paid $50 more and received a cardboard box. These guys have it down. And I certainly appreciate the gesture. It has been a hard week in a way- but I'm glad that the end came so quickly- she wasn't the kind of cat to put up with a long, drawn-out illness. And I knew that when she lost her angry little attitude, it wouldn't be long. Elsa without attitude wasn't good. She now sits on the desk next to the computer moniter- she used to sit on my lap every morning while I blogged, read and wasted time. Now she'll inspire us to acts of greatness and ire. That's the Stinky way!

Cue up Randy Newman's Cars- Here in my car, I feel safest of all- you can lock all the doors- it's the only way to live- in cars...

Stoopid rain

Yeah- I'm not supposed to complain. Stupid rainy mc rain rain. We're supposedly in some kind of "drought", and it's a "good" thing. Whatever. I was planning to go to the arboretum today. Fucking rain.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Enjoy the Easter weekend, and don't let the fucked up MALL FROG get you!!!Mwhahahaha!!!

A couple more sites for you

I also have fallen hard for my friend The Corsair. He's good. And he's the inspiration for me getting into this blog thing. Enjoy- he's a funny and smart chap.

And to round out the week, let's chat about the movies, shall we? Spouse found this one this morning, and I am sold. I've long been a fan of old movies- and the assorted accoutrements tha accompany them. So this was fun. I am particularly fond of the Weegee reference. I have loved Weegee for years. Countless years. Well, I suppose I could count them, but it's much more fun to represent myself as being timeless. Ageless and timeless- a legend if you will.

Ok- I've probably overdosed on the caffeine and am having delusions of grandeur- that's not a good sign. Better sign off for now and get myself under control. A brisk walk into the kitchen to rinse out the tea mug will help.

Just for fun

I'm stealing this from dispatches from the MJ trial- cuz it's funny- and I'll read it so you don't have to.

BJ's become a real fixture here. Everybody knows his name. And his story: He moved here from Tennessee during jury selection just so he could hang around the trial and offer his undying support to Michael. Sadly, yesterday—during one of the breaks—BJ got kicked out of the courthouse. The rule is that fans can't talk to Michael inside the building but can respond if Michael initiates a conversation. According to BJ, Michael said, "I love you," so BJ of course responded, "I love you more!" The guards felt that Michael had not actually invited this outpouring from BJ, so BJ got the boot. He's permanently barred from the courthouse now. But he can still stand out here on the sidewalk and scream his lungs out.

I'm poised to ask BJ about his Sony conspiracy theory (he has a placard that says "SONY IS BEHIND ALL OF THIS! DO THE RESEARCH!") when a couple of cops from the sheriff's department walk over and do the job for me. "So, tell us about the Sony thing you've done all this 'research' on," goads one of the cops, grinning from behind cop sunglasses.

BJ takes the bait and explains that "THEY" found checks from Sony that were made out to the accuser's family. "Sony wants Michael to go bankrupt so he'll sell them the other half of the Beatles catalog," says BJ matter-of-factly. The cops don't look convinced.

8:26 a.m.: Michael arrives in court. Armband: a sumptuous cardinal red, matching both his shirt and his lipstick.

(All of this makes me giggle- which makes me feel a little guilty- it's really not funny. Not at all...)

You'd think they would just go enjoy some brownies

My driving instructor was old and wizened. He was really nice. He didn't hit anyone. And he certainly didn't come equipped with a BAT!!!


AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - A Dutch driving instructor hit a knife-wielding fellow motorist with a baseball bat during a fight over his student’s skills, police said.

“Words were exchanged between the instructor and the man who pulled a knife and then the other hit him with a baseball bat,” a police spokeswoman said Wednesday.

The 27-year-old driving instructor and a 51-year-old man with a head injury and a mild concussion were arrested and must appear in court.

Shameless Promotion

An old school chum of Spouse's has published a story in an anthology. His name is Charley Henley. His mother is the esteemed writer Patricia Henley (her last book was divine). His story is tres good. It's in Best New American Voices 2005. His is the very first story. It isn't what I expected- I remember him as really funny- and the story isn't funny at all. Some of the characters have funny attributes, but it's sad. Or else I am missing the point. That happens with short stories and me. I have a knack for missing the point. I am more of a full on novel kind of girl (thus the fondness for Proust, et. al.). I love diving deep into the narrative, and enjoying the bonding with characters whose lives I can swim in. It's one of the joys of life. Proust is like a fluffy warm sweater. Hemingway is like a cold, icy blast.

But back to Charley- his characters are very well developed, and he did a really fine job. I'll look forward to reading more from him in the future. Kudos! I've never been able to pull off the short story format, so I admire those who can. Hell- I can barely pull off the blog format on a good day- and only after being juiced full of caffeine via a tea drip.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

OK I lied

I just can't stop myself- the following is just too fucked up to leave alone...


Nothing about the white-haired MacClellan suggested a capacity for violence. Which is why the accusation she now faces — that she bludgeoned her 84-year-old neighbor to death with a hammer — has come as such a shock to residents here.

Prosecutors are considering whether to make MacClellan one of the oldest U.S. defendants in modern times to stand trial on a capital murder charge.

MacClellan allegedly attacked Marguerite “Tuddy” Eyer with the claw end of a hammer Feb. 7. The victim, who was found in the kitchen of her home a few blocks away from the MacClellan house, told police that “Kathy Mc ... did it with a hammer,” according to court documents. She died 13 minutes after being rushed to the emergency room; the coroner said she had been struck in the head 37 times.

Prosecutors cite brutality
Police said they found Eyer’s wallet and checkbook in MacClellan’s house, and MacClellan’s face, hair and orange stirrup pants were covered in Eyer’s blood.


Personality clash
Eyer was a spirited, opinionated woman who lived alone in the white trailer with red shutters she had called home for much of the last decade. She often drove her best friend of 30 years, Marguerite Braxmeyer, to lunch dates around town.

Braxmeyer, 83, said MacClellan and Eyer did not particularly like each other — their strong personalities clashed.

“If (Tuddy) liked you, she liked you. But she just didn’t take to Kathy,” Braxmeyer said. “I don’t think Kathy was crazy about her, either.”

But Braxmeyer said it was not as if MacClellan and Tuddy had feuded.

“I have no idea what could have gotten into her. It’s so incomprehensible to me,” Braxmeyer said. “She must have snapped and why, we’ll never know.”

(Well, I'd say so! Goodness!)

Another thing that's good for you. Yummy little mini squashes...too cute to eat! Let the kitties play with them instead. And find them months later rotting under the couch. Not cute anymore. Posted by Hello

On the mend

And now I'm tired. Not my usual verbosity- but at least I've given it the good old college try. I shall retire to the couch, drink some fluids (without the requisite alcohol- doesn't help with the mending process) and watch some old movies on the Tivo. Then perhaps I shall dress. We'll see. I don't want to get too ambitious and suffer a horrible relapse. I was in vile form yesterday- pity poor Spouse- the man is a saint. So, for those of you who sent good wishes- thank you profoundly! Adieu, my dear friends- until tomorrow.

From Gawker

Couldn't resist the following:

MSNBC’s resident gossip maven (and big-time book writing person) Jeannette Walls reports on a heretofore unexamined aspect of the controversial Terri Schiavo case: What is Moby’s opinion?

Moby says he doesn’t want to be drawn into the Terri Schiavo case, but writes on his Web site: “My note to the far-right would be: you can’t have it both ways. If you genuinely believe in the sanctity of life then you cannot support the death penalty and you cannot allow people to buy automatic assault weapons and you cannot support wars that result in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. And if you genuinely believe in states rights then you can’t pass intrusive federal legislation when the states do things that you arbitrarily disagree with.”
Following Moby’s example—and since a lot of journalists have been emailing and calling this week—this is Gawker’s official opinion on the matter:
If god existed, would she make Vin Diesel a star? No she would not. Case closed.

NB: Gawker insists you run the quote in full should you choose to print it.

Happy fun things to do

Whilst not working (suckas!) I have discovered many fun blogs to visit. So, take your official 15 minute breaks and enjoy the fun... She is really, really bad. And we love her. She bitch slaps Washington, D.C. in such a fashion as to have me giggling helplessly. She is our friend, and doesn't even know it...(oooohhhh creepy...) He/she's the big surly brother of our little Wonkette. I'm not sure if gawker is a boy or a girl but I love him/her just the same. They make NY media types bleed. It's all good. and here's where I rejoice. The defamer takes on Hollywood. In the most delightful way. And it's not a spoon full o sugar- it's a spoon full of something viscous and probably unhealthy.

These blogs belong in the same blog family. And they make me happy. So, here it is. Enjoy at your leisure, but make sure to read carefully- they warn when they have posted non-work-safe material. No one wants to crank up the volume on Pat O'Brien's voice mails whilst sitting in a cubicle farm.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Green is good for you. But Brussel Sprouts in overabundance will make you fart. Posted by Hello

Guilty pleasures

And this is nothing that Pat O'Brien would rant about on someone's voice mail either- this is NOT that kind of blog. Just some fun things that would make you smile.

On BBC America- the House Doctor. There's an American version of this show- but it blows by comparison. And the BBC one has Alistair Appleton (sadly for me seems gay as the day is long...sigh...happy day for gay men everywhere...). So does the other favorite of mine- Cash in the Attic- where the lovely Alistair and either Jonty or Paul come to your house and appraise your stuff and auction it off for cash. Fun and potentially instructive.

On Turner Movie Classice- Sunday nights there is usually a silent film on. Love these. Didn't originally like silent movies much-certainly an acquired taste. But I have really grown to appreciate the talent that these performers had. Jackie Coogan is a prime example. That kid owns the screen. A tad cloying mannerisms, but ownership of the screen nevertheless. And there are some really remarkable techniques employed and it's cool to note that these were close to, if not the first time directors did these things. Cool.

Daf Punk is Playing in My House- In My House- Damned song won't leave my head. Definite ear worm. Spouse has suffered from this too. LCD Soundsystem. Infectious damned song. Check out the video at

Enjoy- and spread the love!!!

High on the ick meter

I read that Pat O'Brien of Entertainment Tonight checked into rehab over the weekend. From what I'm hearing (literally) on the web, not a bad idea. There is an audio clip that is supposed to be him (sounds like a duck, probably walks like a duck, etc.) that just would be enough of an embarrassment to do the trick. Sounds like rock bottom to me. It's a recording of about 6 voice messages that he left on a woman's machine. Lurid begins to cover it. Nasty sums it up nicely. Good old Pat could use a little drying out. And sobering up. And cleaning up. Lesson for today- don't leave repetitive ugly voice mails out there that can come back and bite you in the ass at a later date. Keep off the phone (and the internet) whilst drunk, stoned or wired, and the world will be a better place, my friends.

About last night

We were lucky enough to get some fabulous curry and to try a little absinthe. Oscar Wilde said, "absinthe makes the tart grow fonder." I love that. I didn't feel extraordinarily different- just kind of warm and fuzzy without that droopy drunk feeling. Kind of nice- and dangerously comfortable. I can see why the stuff isn't readily available. I didn't drink enough to get halucinations- and certainly not enough to go batty a la Rimbaud- but can see the attraction. Only for special occasions.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Politics- don't get me started

I've been watching congress with interest the last few days. For all of the posturing about protecting life, I read something on Low Culture that made an interesting point. The President made a big show of signing the bill that might save Terry Schiavo. Great- another incursion from the Executive and Legislative branches of government into the territory of State's Rights. But the point that LC made that really illustrated a disturbing trend was that Bush was responsible for the execution of Terry Washington- a convicted 33 year old criminal with a mental age of 7. So- far from protecting ALL people with disabilities, he cherry picks to protect the most politically advantageous ones...fuck the 33 year old tard on death row, right??? This sucks. Where was your "presumption in favor of life" for him Sunshine?

And to add to the cluster fuck that was last week

Probably the earliest hint that the week was going to be tough was being in Bozeman for the first time since our move. It was really hard. I was a little bitter about the whole thing. Even though the move was our choice, I felt that it was a bit much to move all the way out here after having to sell our home and then have spouse's employers decide not to follow us out here (despite the original plans to that effect). It had a definate bait and switch vibe for me. And since I am still looking for work, life out here feels a little unsettled. I found out that I didn't get the job that I wanted (but it's ok- there were some mitigating factors that made it better this way), and I didn't get the chance to see many of my friends. I am hoping that I can turn it around pretty quickly- get a job (I DO have a plan), and we can move closer to Spouse's work. But it was kind of jarring to go back. And I didn't have the heart to go to visit my old house. Too much...

And insult to injury- the greenhouse that I tried to purchase 2 years ago is on the market. My friend (who was going to run it on his own) has decided that it is too much for him. This makes me sad for him- but I also feel pretty crappy that I don't have the chance to buy it now. Irony of ironies...

I think I will get away from the computer and the self-pity party that I'm having and go to the library. It feels better to get it all out, and I think that it'll all be fine in the end- but it feels a tad insurmountable right about now.

This is 1/3 of what we were dealing with. They were made in 1898 in Seattle and built on site in 1929. And NOTHING broke!!! Posted by Hello

What I was doing in Montana

Whilst Spouse was in Bozeman, I was in Helena (about 90 miles away). I got to stay with my Dad and Step-mom (it was a really good visit). I also got to organize and oversee the disassembly of show cases in my Mother's former jewelry store. She didn't sell the cases when she sold the store- and the owner was relocating after selling the property. So, it was a pretty big deal. I'll post a photo to give an idea of the massive structures that I was dealing with. I had had to organize the whole venture from out here, which was a challenge. My original contractor bailed on me when he got a better job, and I also lost my shipper days before the whole thing started. So there was plenty of chaos.

But once we got started on Monday afternoon, it went pretty much without a hitch. I got to meet several really great contractor/cabinet makers. It was really exhausting, stressful and emotional, but it is also done. The cases are in storage and will hopefully be sold soon. It was hard dealing with the end of an era- the cases had been there since 1929, and a jewelry store had been on site since the building was constructed in 1923. It was hard to take apart my mother's dream. I realized that I had 30 years of association with the store. And now that's over. It's a really odd feeling. I just really hope that I can get a good price for them and that they will go to a good home.

Road trip

Just a funny thing that we noted on the trip out to Montana-

From Seattle to Bozeman we counted 27 bottles of urine on the side of the road. (there were more bottles, but these were the unmistakable ones) Included in the tally were about 5 gallon jugs...

There were 25 dead things.

There were 3 shoes.

And a hat.

We didn't count on the way back- we were too tired.

Pretty stinky girl with her happy boy Mika. Posted by Hello

Home again...

It was a long week away. Lots to do and some pretty wrenching things to deal with. But the worst was after a 10 hour drive, we had to put our 17 year old cat Elsa to sleep. She had been in pretty good health when we left- I had her at the vet and her blood work was fine. She just hit a wall, so to speak, and had a total systemic failure. I'm just glad she hung on until we were here, so we could take care of her. It was horrible. We are sad. The other kitties are acting kind of odd- they loved her too.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

And I leave you with a cat- not ours. Posted by Hello

Where we're going this week! Posted by Hello

Not where we're going this week... Posted by Hello

Gotta share

On the way out of town- I leave you with the following- consider if you will:

-- A Remington Way man told police Thursday that he went on two dates with a woman and now she won't leave him alone. He asked officers to warn the woman not to contact him. (tis spring!)

-- A man shooting gophers on Hulbert Road Thursday was cited for negligent endangerment. The man was shooting gophers in the direction of his neighbor, who told deputies a bullet flew by his head and he had to drop to the ground. (and young men turn to killin!)

Friday, March 11, 2005

I don't quite get this shoe. I think it's from a circa 1968 episode of Star Trek. It confuses me with the whorly gold design. And the clear plastic makes me unhappy. Dinosaurs died to make this shoe. Posted by Hello

Next week

I have to be in MT next week. So this might be the last posting for a week. I don't know what I'll do with myself! Actually I have a good idea of what I'll be doing with myself, and it won't be much fun. AT ALL.

Spouse has to be in Bozeman, I have to be in Helena. Sigh. I have to help move Ginormous antique show cases out of an old jewelry store. The horse's ass who owns the store is making this all necessary. It's a challenge to organize something this large from 500 miles away. Luckily I have a decent team on hand to help find contractors, etc. But it won't be fun. So, I would rather be here, typing away. I'll try to update, but can't guarantee that I'll have computer access. So there it is.

And now I have to go do laundry and get the house ready for the trip.


Sigh...our little piece of heaven on wheels. Screw you Jag guy!!! Posted by Hello

Fun doings in Seattle

If you're a local and like fun stuff- check out The Fiddler's Inn. Good pizza, adequate beer list, and atmosphere. We wish it was our local neighborhood tavern. Instead we commute. And the parking sucks (like everywhere in town).

We had dinner with friends last night- and I got to have a wonderful deep philosophical discussion with one of them. Discussion ranged around about the role of ego in life. That yes, ego is important, but shouldn't be allowed free range- then you become an asshole. He was discussing that if kept in proper perspective, ego works for the greater good. I was saying that ego is necessary if nurtured properly in order for an artist/designer to have the proper perspective on his or her talents and offerings to a job. It's one of the biggest challenges I've faced when managing- how to make sure that people have healthy regard for their work, without allowing them to become arrogant assholes. It's kind of a fun dilemna in a way- I loved working with younger professionals for that very reason. I could play a role in their professional development- hopefully positive (!), and help them get to the next level.

And now I occupy myself with dealing with flea infestations in cats. I suppose I gotta start somewhere!

Silly place, silly happenings

€ A dishwasher was stolen from a home on Woodman Drive, a caller reported Wednesday. (huh? I hope that this is the case of someone going into an unfinished home and foraging- not going into a completed home and ripping the dishwasher out of the kitchen.)

€ A caller reported a gas drive-off on Huffine Lane Wednesday. Apparently, the driver returned after he realized he forgot to pay for gas. He had also forgotten his daughter at the gas station. (this guy apparently is under some stress. Or he's the world's biggest flake...)

€ Gunshots were heard on Amsterdam Road Wednesday. When deputies arrived in the area they found an extremely intoxicated man holding a .22-caliber rifle. The rifle was jammed and the man turned it over to deputies and told them to "destroy it." The man was cited for disorderly conduct. (drunk guys n' guns! YEAH!!!)

Something living to make Allison happy today! Posted by Hello

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Washington sucks, man!

I just found out today that we have fleas. This place sucks! Or maybe it's just the carpet that sucks, and I shouldn't make sweeping generalizations. But it sucks. I was getting bites that I attributed to a spider. And now it's fleas. I itch!!! All over!!! In the most hypochondrial way. I blame the smoking lady downstairs. She smokes in her bathroom for hours at a time (with the fan on, so I know she's in there), and the smell travels upstairs into our house. When she's not smoking, she's playing solitaire on her computer. I go by her office window in and out of our place, and she's always sitting there with the game going strong. She gave us fleas. Bitch...

Road rage-itis

So this is second hand. Spouse was driving the other day (this has an ominous sound, no?) and was pulling out into traffic. Creeping would be more appropriate- slowly- so as to see around parked cars, etc. And some dude having a bad day drives by in a Jag and honks at him and gets all tonkey about the few inches of hood that he had to avoid. Spouse then gets onto the road behind Jag. And goes onto Eastlake. And stays behind Jag guy for a while - changing lanes once. Going through two lights behind Jag guy. Did I say that the Jag was a it was.

So after the bridge, Jag guy starts gesturing for spouse to follow him off the road onto a side street and swerves off. Spouse didn't follow, but kept on keeping on. And that was it.

Jag guy seems to have been threatened by the little black Miata in his rear view mirror. Spouse swears that he didn't gesture, intimidate or otherwise threaten Jag guy. So, it looks like a classic run in with Mr. Over-reaction Jag Guy. Or he was hitting on Spouse. That's it. He totally wanted Spouse. Dude!

The shrimps were lonely for their bretheren- the CRABS!!!  Posted by Hello

Happy day in Bozeman

There are some actual happenings in the police report today. I takes my entertainment wheres I can get it!

* A man told police he drank too much alcohol Tuesday. Apparently, the man drank four cases of beer in one sitting and was taken to Bozeman Deaconess Hospital. (Good God, yo! will his insurance cover this?)
* An Annie Glade Drive caller told deputies Tuesday that someone threw deer antlers at her home. (isn't this a form of courtship? I thought that antlers were a way of telling a young lady that you want to bang her into tomorrow. I could be wrong- kids these days...)
* The sheriff investigated a report of dogs attacking a goat in McAllister Thursday. (Ah, but did the goat bring it on himself by teasing the dogs? Was he calling them names and making fun of their smell?)

And in other news- this is off the charts for ick factor, but I can't resist. I read yesterday that Teri Hatcher is currently seeing (ew) DAVID SPADE!!! EW, EW, EW!!! Not that he's not someone's hot little sex puppet, but seriously, I don't see it. It kind of hurts my brain to think about it. So I won't. I'll spew it forth on these pages and pretend it never happened.

And here's some seafood to go with the flowers! Shrimps...shrimps...shrimps...their eyes glow at night when you shine a flashlight on them in the water. Posted by Hello

Happy spring- blogger is broken, and I'll put pictures rather than content on until it's fixed. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I need to look at a kitty picture after the last item. Another captive...Kitty liberation front, UNITE! Posted by Hello

Crap, dude!

In the saddest news of the day- from MSNBC-

At least 27 elementary school children died and another 100 were hospitalized after eating a snack of cassava — a root that’s poisonous if not prepared correctly — during morning recess Wednesday in the southern Philippines, officials said.
(what is this cassava, ask you?)

The roots of the cassava plant, a major crop in Southeast Asia and other parts of the world, are rich in protein, minerals and vitamins A, B and C. However, it is poisonous without proper preparation. Eaten raw, the human digestive system will convert part of it into cyanide. Even two cassava roots contain a fatal dose.

This is the worst news of the day. Bums me out. And we worry so much about whether or not our children eat organic produce. In the Philippines, people eat food that kills if carelessly prepared. I hope the street vendor who sold this to CHILDREN gets his ass thrown in jail.

Since I'm not a tourist anymore I can feel all smug when I see them. Posted by Hello

Dan Rather

Dan Rather says he's, "Leaving on a high note." Dude- he said high! 420! All right! heh, heh, heh....

Enough with the Dan Rather schtick. Jon Stewart rules the news universe, even though what he gives us is the fake news. I love him. It would be a tossup between him and Michael. And John Cusack (only in Gros Point Blank though- I loathed that crappy movie he did with Catherine Zeta Jones, and that one he did about the black gloves and fate...sucky, sucky, sucky...). There it's out there in print. Poor spouse. Hope he is as tolerant as I think he is. And really, like I would ever even meet these fellows- and if I did, like they would be interested....really, if they really knew me, they would love me, right, right???

Reminds me of a sad episode of The Osbornes the other night- yup, another guilty pleasure is exposed. They had a chick on who won an auction to spend the day with the familia. It was a train wreck. She was soooo sad. She went into serious debt to come up with the $20,000+ to be with them. Then she was goofy as shit. Sang and all- just goofy. I give Sharon enormous credit- she was heartbreakingly kind to the poor woman. It would've been like shooting fish in a barrel to make fun of the woman. And it would've been hateful. It was hard to watch. Reality TV is such a dubious thing...I think I'm going to hell for watching. But can't help myself...

Ah Seattle. Land of opportunity and the setting sun. My lovely friend Dorota captured this image yesterday. I can almost hear the smell of coffee and brain cells fusing into a certain smell... Posted by Hello

Alternatives to Bozeman

In my ongoing quest to seek out fun and interesting small town news, I have left Bozeman behind for today. Neither Helena nor Missoula posts police reports online. So I go to Kallispell (enjoy Allison!).

Kalispell police were called when a woman who was fired from a business refused to leave it Monday. An officer persuaded her to go away. (Let it go, chick!!!)

A resident on the west side is unhappy with neighbors entering his home and taking his things. A woman is unhappy with the fax her ex-husband has reportedly sent people that prompts them to send her odd kinds of mail. (So, I'm thinking that the police in Kallispell have more human relations interactions, less animal control than Bozeman.)

Deputies counseled warring neighbors on Ridgewood Drive, who agreed to stay away from each other. Obscene gestures are part of the landscape there. In another neighborhood dispute, a woman says a man takes her dog out of her yard and puts it in his. ( I might have to visit this site more often! There's a serious attempt at creative writing afoot here!!)

And finally- in Missoula Huey Lewis gave a lecture at the U about music. Since he is a landowner in the Bitterroot, he probably isn't hard to find. I'm still pissed that he bought Sleeping Child Hot Springs and closed it to locals. Bastard. I spent many fun hours there with my grandmother when I was little. Now I have difficulty thinking civil thoughts about the man. I hope that his lecture was sparsely attended. I do know, however, that a student reporter from the Kaimin was a total star fucker and asked him for his autograph and then proceeded to interview him from a syncophantic stance. This guy has quite a future on E! Especially if he bears a resemblance to any famous trial lawyer in the LA area (could be in on the recreation of the next MJ trial).

Bozeman news

To quote my hero, Eric Cartman (if you don't recognize the name, get thee to the Comedy Central IMMEDIATELY!!!)- "Lame, weak..."

No good animal tales to share. No famous authors in town. Nada. Zilch. Lame. Weak. Stoopid Bozeman.

But in the real world, I found the following nugget of info- Fred Durst (who pissed me off by suing Gawker) sent Gawker flowers and apologized for suing them. I don't know if this means that he has retracted the suit against them or not. But the gesture is really nice. So, I guess he has redeemed himself somewhat. Not that I'd want to touch his ass... (like I said before, I saw the video- so sue me- and it kind of turned me off- like a lot...)

Also- there is the potentially traumatic news that Russell Crowe was almost a target of Al Quaeda. Wow. I guess that I didn't know that he was all that important. According to the news, he is claiming in an interview that terrorists wanted to kidnap him. So, we can choose to either believe him, or we can decide that he is a wingnut a la Mel Gibson, and pat him gently on the head, hand him a cookie and say kindly, "yes, Russell, We know. Everybody wants a piece of you. You ARE a star." Poor little dumpling. Being famous is SUCH a drag.

And then there's that wanker Boy George. Would someone PLEASE buy this fool a muzzle? And forcibly put it on his sorry ass? He is now stating publicly that the kind woman who financed his last stage production basically isn't gay enough. He is publicly dissing the lesbian cred of Rosie O'Donnell. Not that I'm a huge Rosie fan, but this is just crass. There's gratitude. And a craven attempt to get some publicity. The man is seriously damaged. I hope that Rosie decides that he is rubbish and never deigns to speak to him again. Would serve him right.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Oh Hell yes!

Imagine the confusion and consternation amongst the various secretaries and under-secretaries of Prince Charles today when confronted with the following in New Zealand (and no hobbits were involved, sadly) From MSNBC:

As the prince moved about the crowd, one woman took off her shirt to reveal “Get your colony shame off my breasts” written on her body.

Earlier, another bare-chested woman carrying a small child was removed shortly before the prince arrived. Police said both women had been charged with disorderly behavior.

This makes me chortle out loud. Poor befuddled Prince- has to see angry tatas. But at least he has an entertaining story to recount over gin and tonics tonight.

Ummmm- raw hunks of seafood. For your viewing pleasure. What at treat! Posted by Hello

Doesn't give a rat's ass about the minimum wage. Posted by Hello

Bozeman news

And now for some entertainment. (I'm sure that the police would love to be classified as entertainment...they're not entertaining- just written that way. Blame the media.)

-- There were two horses at large on West Lincoln Street Sunday.
-- There were five horses at large on Airport Road Sunday.
Where are they going? These are the kinds of things I worry about...God I need a job...

-- A skunk was acting strangely on Durston Road, a caller reported Sunday.
Yeah- that's what I'm talkin about!! Some serious skunk action...

-- A clerk at a Gallatin Road gas station said a woman paid for gas with what appeared to be a role of dimes. But the roll ended up having pennies inside.
Psych!!! Better study the video. This woman needs to be apprehended. In the biggest, broadest way...

Ok- now I'm pissed

I just heard that the US Senate has killed the minimum wage amendment that they had attached to the Bankruptcy bill. This ticks me off for several reasons. And not just because I had to mention the US Senate in a sentence.

First, for those who don't know- I worked for over a year in the Bankruptcy Collections unit for Bank One credit cards. It was an interesting job. I closed accounts when people declared bankruptcy. I also sent accounts to legal when obvious bankruptcy fraud had occurred. I filed claims if the bankruptcy was a Chapter 13. It was kind of cool learning the system. But the main lesson that I learned is that people don't handle credit very well. This new legislation will really fuck over the consumer. It is sponsered by the banks in order to make it more difficult for consumers to discharge debts. Now my issue is this- credit cards are sooo damned agressive in courting customers. And they know damned good and well that plenty of those people have no business getting cards. They have access to online credit reports and review these prior to issuing the cards. So it's really obvious when people are having problems. I know- I was also in regular collections for a while (I hope I only have to spend a minimum amount of time in hell for that). So, rather than not issue cards to people with spending problems, they just want to make it harder for them to solve the problem after they've gotten the cards, charged them up and gone delinquent on them.

I have a real hard time feeling sorry for banks. And this will probably make it a surefire thing that I won't ever work in one again. I was told that bankruptcy charge offs were nothing more than a tax write off, and that it was worth having customers who couldn't pay because of the fees that the company could charge for late payments, and the higher interest rates that they could charge poor payers. It is a scam. And yes, I have cards, and use them on occasion- but nowhere like I did before working for the MAN.

Ok- bitch #2 about the amendment. So, the banks have a license to fuck the consumer, without any recourse in bankruptcy for some of them. Great. So NOW how is consumer Joe gonna pay his debts? According to NPR, the minimum wage is at the lowest percentage compared to the private minimum wage ($15/hr) in 70 years. It's one third of that. And the Senate has voted over $28,000 in wage increases for THEMSELVES in the last several years. That's more than two minimum wage holders make in an entire year of working 40 hours per week. Is this fair? Why the hell is it that a senator's contribution to society is deemed more important than someone trying to keep themselves out of debt and in a decent home? It's already enough of a struggle to keep it together financially- God forbid we help consumer Joe and his family out a bit. I gotta hand it to Teddy Kennedy (And I don't always do this for him)- he was pretty outraged about this discrepancy as well. It's crap.

Letic awards. Available at a location near me.I want mine with a flag on top. Posted by Hello

Weekly whine

I tend to try to keep this upbeat, but I gotta whine a tad. Last night Salman Rushdie was in Bozeman. Damn. He's wonderful. I love his writing- Midnight's Children was a gorgeous book. I've always wanted to write with the depth and detail that he uses. I remember getting into a very heated debate with some Middle Eastern guys in college about The Satanic Verses. I still contend that unless you have read something, it is stupid to condemn the writer. I don't need some religious leader reading a book and telling me that it's bad. I can make those kinds of distinctions myself, thank you. And I'm not the kind of person who will take umbrage at a parody of religion- I'm more likely to be offended by crappy writing in general. And Rushdie has never disappointed me.

I'm very glad that he's out spreading the word to the masses, so to speak, and hope that he comes further west. Hope all of my peeps in Bozeman went to the lecture.

Plus he has the same birthday that I do. Yay!

Monday, March 07, 2005

And can anyone explain the faces of these mannequins? They scare the crap out of me... Posted by Hello

This is the slow-moving moped brigade. Sounded like a legion of lawn mowers. Posted by Hello