Monday, August 09, 2010

I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about and dealing with redemption. But I got some this weekend and it was a sweet experience.

Back story: I have a sister with whom I have a very troubled history. She has more challenges to basically deal with life than I will ever imagine. But she is not a very pleasant person. Not even close. It is much like being with a thunder storm. About as peaceful, and the threat of explosion is constant.

This isn't a new situation in her life. It was that way for as long as I can remember. But my coping skills are much better. I had a very hard time with her when I was a teen. It was an ugly, volatile situation, and I have carried a ton of guilt about it since.

The redemption came in the form of a weekend visit. It was good to see her. And to see that she doesn't still push the buttons. And that her attempts to push those buttons hasn't changed. And to know that once upon a time, I didn't have the adult skills to deal with her rage and problems. That helps me forgive my own transgressions.

Better than a crapton of therapy.

And I can still deal with her. Just fine.

Friday, August 06, 2010

The house thing continues- we have had 2 THE HOUSEs, and neither has worked. The second one had an insufficient well. Sounds very odd for Western Washington, but there you go. Thanks geology. The builder was a total tool about it and tried to bullshit us as to what the yield was, despite the well report that HE supplied. We passed on that one. It was beautiful, though.

Hope remains alive.

The best part of this whole thing is that Kman and I are doing well as a couple throughout. I can see where this process could destroy a marriage. It's bloody hard to define what you want in the first place, and gets more difficult the deeper into the details you go. We definitely have some different parameters, but overall it has been very respectful and supportive. I like that.

I have some rules for this. I'll even share. Because that is how I roll.

1. Don't buy a house to end the fucking ordeal of buying a house. (I have teetered on this one more than once. Just. Don't.)
2. Don't fall in love until the paperwork is signed. (Failed this one on THE house #1, not on THE house #2- that was just a crush)
3. It may be a deal, but it can be someone else's deal.
4. It has to be at minimum 85% ready to go- otherwise it's a fixer-upper. We are NOT in the construction business, so walk quickly away. Nothing to see here, folks.
5. We each get a veto. It may be painful, but it is important.

So we have another batch of about 20 listings to dig through, and I will start vetting the options for Kman, and let him see the best of the bunch. Some day we will have our very own home. But for now, our rental is lovely, in a great area, easy to access, cheap as hell, and ours for the duration.