Wanna join a cult?

Yesterday was an interesting day. I went with my lovely Polish friend to observe a couple of hours of a training session for career coaches. It was ...interesting...and very disturbing.

Part of the whole deal is that they break down the individual (I seriously thought that cults and brainwashers did this...) by having that person stand in front of the group and discuss their appearance. For example, there was a lovely lady there who was wearing a scarf. By the time they were done with her, the scarf was dissected to mean that she was using it to create distance. I just thought it was a nice splash of artsy color. But what the hell do I know?

What disturbed me most of all was that these seemed to all be lost middle-aged souls seeking purpose. And these people took their money gleefully and proceeded to teach them this rather arcane "language" that they were to use on their clients. It was creepy. Some of it was quite valid- insofar as if you're going to communicate on a professional level with someone dealing with personal issues, you need to maintain an emotional distance. And it's important to be able to keep out of their problems yourself.

But when the founder (creepy guy!) tried to out a guy he thought was gay in front of the group I was really turned off. It was an exercise in power playing that I thought was malicious and just plain inappropriate. And disturbing- since the guy claimed not to belong to any "community". What also was disturbing was that there was a lot of personal disclosure going on- and no confidentiality agreements going around the room for signatures. It was like group therapy in there- without the legal guarantees that your personal information stays in the room.

They tried to hard sell me in front of the whole group before I left. I told them that I was unemployed, and not able to spend any money on "superflous" things. I'm sure that ticked them off some, but I really don't care. It was icky. I felt like taking a hot shower with a brillo got get the taint off. But I went to lunch instead.

I just really hate that kind of situation. I had a friend in Phoenix who was seriously damaged. She was some kind of needy, and easy pickings for this kind of thing. She found herself a guru- this really creepy guy who offered to "realign her aura". Next thing I knew, she was spending lots of time, money, etc. on him- and falling in love with him. I met him, and knew that he was trouble. It was really clear that he was fostering her need, without giving her the intimacy that she desired- and leeching her dry. And there was a secret language that he used with her too...

It made me sad. And still does...