My interview- this time it's personal

From Polly Prissy Pants comes the following:

Here are the instructions:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, let's play! Tally ho:

1. Seeing as you're from Seattle: Starbuck's - love or hate, or indifferent? Is the latte half-empty or half-full?

I'm new to the Seattle scene. Prior to about a month ago when I read that waiters/waitresses hated serving tea, I was a tea aficianado. And I was decaffed until about December. But now I drink coffee. And Tullys for me. Starbucks won't hire me, so I say fuck them. Unless they're reading this and reconsider the hiring thing. Then I'll be their bitch forever. And latte is always half-empty. The rest is milk.

2. What is your biggest fault? Answer the way you secretly wish you had been able to during that interview...

My biggest fault would probably lack of patience. I'm always looking for something to excite me, and move on once they get boring. And I am a silly optimist when it comes to thinking that things will be easy. Sometimes they are, but the job thing has kind of exposed the shortfall of that approach. And I get bitchy when people are slow. Driving in particular. Or in stores- or good God- art fairs. Women sauntering along with 20 foot wide strollers and fucking stopping- for no reason... I had better stop here- too many flaws- not enough time.

3. What is the strangest/most interesting thing you ever molded out of clay?

Clay is life. I did a series of pieces using porcelain that I devised a recipe for that were paper thin and looked kind of like flowers. It was the most demanding and fun thing ever. Until my glaze chemistry broke down and I opened a kiln at the end of the semester and found shards. The glaze had pulled the pieces apart. Luckily I had been successful earlier and had some pieces to show. But those were the best. I need a studio and some money to get rolling on those again someday.

4. If you had a clone, what would you do with it? Would you have sex with yourself?

I would send the clone on job interviews. That way I could blame someone else for not getting the job. And I don't swing that way, so no, I wouldn't have sex with my clone. I would teach her how to play cribbage (If I could remember how myself) and get good at it.

5. OK Miss Art History - if Mona Lisa could talk, what would she say??

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!! No- I think she would say, Leonardo, my darling, make me look pretty. It's hard to say whether or not it was a realistic or idealized portrayal of her. She might've had smallpox at some point and had the scariest skin possible. If so, then she was delighted with the results. I also don't know if this portrait was meant to snag her a spouse- if so, I hope it worked. I thought that there was still plenty of questions surrounding her identity, too- so I just dunno. She kind of gives me the creeps, though. I think it's the lack of eyebrows. And I think that Dan Brown is chock full of crap when it comes to the Da Vinci Code. I was disappointed in the ham fisted deneument of the book. But I think she would be pleased to be such a focus of attention after all of this time. And to be featured in a movie starring Tom Hanks.