This week Kenga and I had a chat. Interesting one, I thought. See, I've spent the entirety of this blog basically avoiding his stories and his life insofar as it is his. I will sometimes discuss our life together. But I have always protected his privacy and his life. Ditto the family- but that is a little different.
Anyway, I was telling him about the privacy thing, and about his ownership of his own stories, etc. And that I never felt like it was my right to tell them. Or to really divulge much about him, as this is my forum, not his.
He thought that this was nice, and all. But totally unnecessary. He said that I can discuss anything about him that I want, he trusts me. That is one hell of a vote of confidence- and a bit of a burden too. Being trusted is like that. It makes fucking up that much more difficult to bear. I hate letting people down. But I doubt that this will be a problem here.
So. What do I do with this? Well, it opens up a lot of stuff for me to write about in this forum. And that's exciting. I tend to use this as an opportunity to process things that rise to the top- kind of like skimming the bubbly stuff off of the top of soup. Aren't you all lucky- to be consistently fed the bubbly stuff off of the soup? When the real meat and other good stuff remains under the surface.
So maybe the detatchment isn't all that it's cracked up to be creatively. It wasn't a problem in art school. I could do whatever I wanted, and incorporate as much or as little personal significance as I wanted. It didn't matter. No one needed to know. And I picked a medium that's pretty neutral that way. Ceramics. Not like you can emote heavily with a mug. Only if you bash someone with it- or shape it like a sexual organ (which could effect the functionality profoundly)- or something.
So I guess it's always been that way. And needs to change...I think that it's time to dive a little deeper for the first time, really. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?
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2 comments:
it's funny, this subject. see, i look at it as no holds barred. i mean, the "good ones" do it with incredible discresion and outstanding smoke and mirrors. the shit i put on my site dips into all kinds of realities and events, and i think in some sort of sinister way, the protagonists (all flesh and blood in one way or another) enjoy reading and picking out the real parts and the made up ones. i've never held back on certain information. it's the curse people have to live with, if they befriend one who writes. no holds barred. only, the good ones know how to mask the shit, sculpt it, and spew it to make it look like fiction. yea?
I have tried to play that game, but come from a remarkably paranoid family. So spend much of my time editing myself so as not to draw the ire of some of them upon my head. I presumed that Kenga was among them, but he isn't which makes me all warm and happy. Because I really want to stretch the creative legs and try some smoke and mirror work. And fuck Augustin Burroughs and his ilk. Not creative enough- and just too damned enamored by his own navel to be important to the rest of us.
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