Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hey- I just thought of something!

I was reading a scurrilous tabloid rumor about a F1 driver. Those of you who know me well know that I'm obsessed with F1. Screw the World Cup. I just love me the motor sport of kings.

Anyhow, the rumor concerned a retired driver, some coke, a hooker in Monaco, and crapping the bed. Oh- and a wife giving birth on Monaco race weekend. Now, me being the curious one that I am decided that this was a tale worthy of some investigation.

And I found bupkus. The story is a lie. The only recently retired drivers don't fit the profile at all. One is single and allegedly dating Pamela Anderson- thus killing the pregnant wife giving birth part of the rumor. The other had a baby all right, but in December- thus killing the Monaco race weekend/hooker part. That still leaves the crapping the bed part unsubstantiated, but I choose to see that as most likely also untrue.

I even investigated current drivers, and none of them fit the profile either. And yes, I'm when it comes to creepy investigations, I'm that good. Missed my calling- I should be a PI. Seriously- I do know enough about the F1 world to be scary when it comes to rumors that need debunking.

So what does this teach us? Well, that rumors started by tabloids are very likely a pack of lies. Really makes you wonder about Britney and Kevin, right???

9 comments:

(S)wine said...

SCREW THE WORLD CUP???
OH MY GOD....I'M SPEECHLESS...

slyboots2 said...

And I'm very, very brave- or stupid...

(S)wine said...

F1...that's that Michael Schumacher-dominated sport, right? The one where million dollar cars go 'round and 'round on some sort of winding track? yea? what's the jolt in watching that? i tried watching cars on the Beltway many times--not even the same ones, over and over, like at an F1 race--and i was bored to death. but...i guess you can't argue against all the NASCAR fan base. SOMETHING must be goddamned appealing about watching cars go in a circle. i just can't find it.

yet.

slyboots2 said...

It most certainly is NOT on an oval track. This is the anti-oval track racing. And yes, Michael is the king. It's open wheel, 9000RPM, road track (including the streets of Monaco) and wonderful. Fuck NASCAR.

(S)wine said...

read carefully...NASCAR gots the oval track. i do believe i said "winding track" when referring to F1.

In any case, i am still bored with it. although my 2 year old likes the buzzing of the engines (as it comes through the TV). She calls them: "big mosquitos"

slyboots2 said...

Ah. Now see this is one of those instances where I saw the N word, and then nothing else. Just got all pissy. It happens. Feh. So you're not a gearhead. Well, no one's perfect. We'll make allowances.

I just gotta know though- are you one of those guys who paints their faces for the world cup matches??? (because seriously, I would paint mine for Ferrari if I didn't think the red paint would stick around for days)

(S)wine said...

no; i'm the mild mannered guy who is always nice and polite--but who then goes home and rages within his writing.

i am not a gearhead; however, i do drive a mighty nice 6 speed German machine--and appreciate its engineering every goddamned day.

Anonymous said...

I've heard it was Damon Hill. I don't care if it's untrue because he's British, so I've told ten friends, asked them to tell ten friends, and so on. The good news about it is that his "nurse" had just diapered him (after a jolly good spanking).

slyboots2 said...

Ahhhh. Damon Hill. Hadn't thought of him. Silly me. I was thinking more recent retiree. Damn. Gotta think on that one...