Well. So there is a variance request posted in the front yard. It has been there for months. The landlady wants to demolish the garage and build it elsewhere. No big deal. Haven't heard a thing about it- should probably remove the damned sign. The meeting was 2 months ago. I've been waiting for the city to do it.
Last night I was on the computer at dusk. And I see someone in the front yard. Mind you- there is a large fence around the yard, and it's pretty obvious when you're in here that you're in the blasted yard. It's a crazy lady from the neighborhood. And she's peering in the garage. I sight her, she sees me watching her, and darts for the stairs. I go out the door, and call out,"can I help you with something?" She stops, and says, "I was just looking- sorry to disturb you." She was embarrassed--rightfully so- it's creepy to be looking in the windows of someone's garage. And downright cheeky. She apologized again, and slunk off into the dusk. Serves her right. Bloody busybody (Ellen!).
Funny thing- she is the one who would always stand at the bus stop and bitch about being late because the bus is never on time. I was always tempted to ask her why she didn't take an earlier one, then. But I figured she liked to have something to talk about. Crazy beeitch.
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"can i help you with something?"
that is classic.
NOT the first thing i would've thunk to yell out into the night.
reminds me of my sissy-in-law, at the time a customer service manager at a high-end chain dept. store, who came home to find two individuals hoisting her TV (among other things) out the broken into window. upon seeing the thieves, in a lovely, retail-mode tone she inquired: "may I help you with something?"
uh....yea....how's about givin' us a hand with this here big screen?
The other option was to run and get the shotgun, and make that distinctive "CHAH CHUNK" sound of loading it up for bear. That would've made her shit herself, methinks. And despite the satisfaction, I do try to remember that I'm not in the backwoods anymore...
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