Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Between the breakdowns

In communication, in habit, in emotional states.

All is pretty much the same.

Nothing to report of note- just the usual. Like I said. Breakdowns.

If not mine, someone else's.

At work, at play, at life. It's all part of the mix.

I'll be strong for you today, if you promise to return the favor someday. I even promise not to abuse it.

But I will use it.

Because despite the Montana credo of "take care of your own damned self," I can't really function like that.

Too lonely. Too many empty spaces between, where the sound of the wind fills the air. And nothing else. Just the wind. No trees. Just the wind.

And the dark at night when there's no moon is beyond description. Fine with accompanyment. Even if it's musical. But alone...unendurable over the long term.

So to hell with the deer and the antelope. They get shot at this time of year anyway. And then they lay in the beds of pickup trucks- spewing blood down the interstate. Not an appropriate role model at all.

I'll play other games for now. And let the roaming happen elsewhere. In another life, not my own. Because I can't and don't want to disengage enough to make it happen. And I hate the emptiness that's on that other side.

2 comments:

(S)wine said...

ah now.
welcome to my daily world.
you have newly-found respect for me now, don't you?
i know you do.
sike.
hang on.
let K-man take care of you.
then send him my way.
i need a little love, yo.
word.

slyboots2 said...

I never lacked respect for you. Not for a minute. This isn't a new game plan for me- just slightly revised. And yes, K-man is an essential ingredient for keeping this girl functioning.

I'll see if he's willing to peddle his services on the road. He's awfully good, but has his hands plenty full with me right now. Pity the poor boy- the wife in a diva mood and all...sigh...