Rumor mill

I heard some unsettling news the other night- and no, it didn't involve Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and facial hair.

I heard that poofy permed 80s hair is coming back. This cannot be. We must not let this happen. I spent years farming my hair into a large, blond, poofy, overprocessed curtain. And then I cut it all off in a lovely purgative rebellion my senior year in high school. No hair cut has ever felt soooo good.

I used to come home from the perm place (JC Penney's usually) with blistered burns on my neck. And my scalp would tingle for several days. And my hair took on the texture of very dry grass. My head was the amber waves of grain. It floated when I walked. Poof....poof....poof.... My migraine headaches began at that age...I would love to draw a correlation, but probably can't with any scientific accuracy.

This is wrong. We cannot go back. It is too painful...I can handle revisiting elephant bell bottom Hash jeans. I can deal with rainbow suspenders. I can even face blue eyeshadow (too old to partake, thank you). But the poofy 80s hair is my nemesis. It is definately part of the dark side that doesn't need to be resusitated. So, say a little prayer and light a candle. We can keep the darkness at bay.