The long and short of it

I am making the gut-wrenching discovery that it's harder to blog, read, watch tv, and basically do all of the important life-affirming things that I enjoy when I work. But I have also discovered that I really like the money.

What to do? What to do?

Well, I guess that playing the lotto is an option. But getting 2 numbers didn't make big things happen. Bubkus. I guess that it's about the sacrifice. Somehow, I can delude myself into thinking that I am making the world a better place by putting on a tremendous show of being a worker ant extrordinaire. All the while seething inside, just wanting to sit in front of the computer and type. And read, and watch the tv.

Kboy asked my last night why he can't just be happy and work. Why he has to examine things, and find the broken parts and fix them. I concur. And postulate that it's because we are both craftspeople. We want things to be both workable and intact. Whether we're discussing a motorcycle, or a system of delivery, or an interface. It should work and be intact. Otherwise it's a broken piece of shit taking up real estate.

I have become an expert in logistics at work. I know where things are, how to get them from a to b, and many of the details in between. This does not, however, translate to job security past June. Which both alarms and comforts me in equal measure. Would I stay? Hell yes, if offered a significant raise. Would I go? Probably will have to, so no real question there. Besides, that is entirely what I expect. Part of the whole hubris-killing experience of having this particular job has been the day to day hammering into me that my particular job isn't very important in the grand scheme of things. Despite practical examples to the contrary. But there you go. That's a whole political issue that I personally have no desire to play. Suffice it to say, they will miss me. Or someone in my capacity who knows what the fuck to do, and where to find the best places to bury the bodies, so to speak. Luck with that, I say.

Kboy and his job, you ask? Fine. Just adjusting. Lots of differences, no real roadmap of how to cope with all of the changes. But overall positive. Haven't really had a good opportunity to really discuss it with him. Just giving him space to process. Surprisingly enough, we don't actually talk all the time. It can be kind of quiet. But in a very nice way.