A friend told us this one.
Three year old son of a friend. We'll call him Jimmy. Friend thought it would be funny to tell Jimmy the following.
"Leave the apple butter alone, son." "Why?" "It makes your meat grow."
Mom starts to notice the apple butter disappearing from the fridge.
One day, she notices Jimmy with the apple butter jar in his hands, and his pants undone. "What are you doing with the apple butter, Jimmy?"
"Putting it on my meat. It makes it grow."
Now, I'm only hoping that since this was over 10 years ago, Jimmy isn't still putting his pecker in the apple butter. Or if he is, he keeps a separate, non-consumed jar.
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5 comments:
dude, this was weird all around.
first, what the feck is apple-butter.
second...what does it mean "it makes your meat grow" (other than the obvious).
i must be living in another country or something. i have no idea what the whole exchange meant.
However, it doesn't beat the following local radio commercial: "Farmer John smokes his own bacon."
Now THAT'S one tough son of a bitch.
No hidden meanings. He meant his meat. His little, cherubic, probably not very clean meat.
Apple butter is kind of like apple jam. It can be good (my mom makes really good apple butter) or very nasty- like most of the store bought crap. It's all in the apples chosen.
It's just too easy to mess with the head of a child.
i don't understand what he was trying to get his kid to do. I suck at this kind of sense of humour.
I think he was just trying to get the kid to do what the kid eventually did. I wonder if he didn't like apple butter, never ate it, and had some kind of complex about it, and wanted his kid to act in his stead...I dunno. It's kinda fucked up. But funny, I think.
Ah. I see. (insert sound of crickets here)
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