I read about the prisoner and his wife getting captured this morning. She gave up everything to marry him and try to help him escape. I have to wonder if she is as stupid as she seems. It reminds me of the teacher who slept with her student. There's just something catestrophically wrong with these women- their choices couldn't be more self-destructive (unless they decided to use the business end of a shotgun).
Is it just being drawn to a broken male- the need to fix someone and have them tied to you via the ties of gratitude? Is it some kind of twisted maternal instinct run amok? Is it the bad-boy attraction?
In each case, these women must've been quite unhappy prior to their run-ins with lawlessness. I cannot fathom a well-adjusted, happy woman choosing to mix with a career criminal or a child. The wholesale loss of perspective indicates that each woman was ruled by her demons.
I'm not discussing this to sound like I condemn them. I don't feel superior necessarily. No, I don't think I would leave everything behind for one of the options behind door #1 or door #2 above. But I have fallen for the bad-boy attraction in the past, and I do understand the draw.
Explaining bad boys to good boys is a hard task. The draw- ego fucking of the highest order. If you can change him, or get him to change himself, you are really, really powerful. It shows that he values your inner spirit more than any other woman before. You are special. It's actually pretty archetypical. If you've ever read a romance novel, you'll see the story played out in print. The hero falls hard for the heroine (she pretty much has to be virginal, but strong and with a temper). After hijinks often including mistaken identity, the appearance of rivals for each one's affections, some kind of physical peril, they settle into some kind of marital bliss. The reader is compelled to identify with the heroine, and to desire the hero. It's just the way these books are written. I could probably sit down and churn one out in a month or two if I felt like it. (that's not to say that it wouldn't be total crap, but I could do it).
In my teens and early twenties, those bad boys were an irresistable draw. I wanted to be the savior, the heroine, and the special one. I found out after a particularly unpleasant encounter that these goals were a waste of time. It would never, ever happen. He would never recognize my value- especially since I didn't. Bad boys are most often jerks. Fuck them. Then dump them.
5 comments:
shite, i cannot believe you're still trying to analyse these kinds of people. don't waste your time any longer with them. they're all swine. now when i hear these kinds of news stories, i just turn off CNN and go shake a pair or maracas and sing stupid made-up songs with my daughter. her world is much more pleasant and offers much more than ours.
Ah- but I see kernels of that kind of self-destructive shit in people I know. (including myself back in the day). It's kind of like trying to avert a train wreck. I just gotta try sometimes to understand it all...
You're right though- I should seriously just grab a cat toy and play with the kitties...
It totally amazes me that wonderful women waste their time on these men. They think they can fix them, with marriage, babies whatever, and it is no help!! But it is fun to go out with them once or twice. hehe
Haha, I can relate too. You know all about that, though. Oh well,they all learn eventually, perhaps it's a folly of youth and/or inbreeding.
I agree with mrsg- fuck them silly then turn them loose. Kind of a catch and release program. With condoms, of course. They belong in the wild. It's just asking too much to try and domesticate these wild boys. At least it is without keeping them hooked to some kind of horse tranquilizer.
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