Back in the day

Unlike Missoula, Helena most often is sunny and windy. We didn't have overcast skies for weeks on end, and the place didn't smell like the inside of a shoe when the wind shifted.

What we did have was close proximity to the East Helena Smelter. My family started in East Helena. My grandfather was born in the house where my uncle lives today. My grandmother was born in the house that my great-grandmother died in a few years ago. The roots are deep. They were a bunch of Slavic/Germanic Catholics who worked their asses off at the smelter and had huge families. I am basically related to over 600 people in the area. The joke about one of my cousins was that he couldn't date anyone from EH- he was related to all of them. Ditto me. But I wasn't looking there for boyfriends- the family kept too close of tabs on me in the area for me to misbehave with boys. I had to go further afield.

When I was little, my parents kind of bucked the tide and settled on the West side of Helena. It was about as far from EH as is geographically possible within city limits. Our road was dirt until I was about 11. We lived on a corner lot, with a large yard that I covet today. I had free run of the neighborhood- and basically knew everyone and had been in most of their houses. I was very curious. It boggles my mind today that I had such free range. My parents basically had no idea where I was. I might tell them that I was going to someone's house- but any detours were off the chart.

I'm not overly close to my extended family. It had to do with the geography, as well as inclination. I always felt oppressed by them. There were so damned many of them! I felt closest to my grandparents, and my great-grandmother. I liked my cousins, aunts and uncles- but just didn't spend as much time with most of them. And my immediate cousins share absolutely no interests with me- at all. We speak totally different languages. They have grown up from kids I really didn't like much (but was forced to play with at family gatherings) into adults I have nothing to say to. I just don't know them. And I can certainly assure you that they don't know me. I guess that I'm basically ok with that- I'm not overly fond of their parents, so it doesn't break my heart not to spend tons of time with them.

I did always feel like the outsider, though. I was the one who read all the time and wanted to get an education. I couldn't wait to go to college. I would look through my parent's college yearbooks and imagine myself there. I never had a question about going. It would happen.

Unlike my similarly literate father, I didn't have a typical hunting/fishing/outdoor common childhood to link me to the family. We did outdoor things, but I have never hunted. It's a big family thing- and I never was part of it. I didn't own a gun until I inherited one last year. I know how to shoot- and am really good at it- but never thought about it. And I do come from a family of serious gun collectors.