It was a warm holiday. Plenty of time spent with my darling friends, family, and ghosts. Probably too much drinking, all told, but I didn't make an ass of myself, so can't feel too bad about it.
Good with bad. Fun times with some, and kind of sad times spent with others- my Grandmother is on the strong decline. Not much time left before her mind is spent. It's like a baloon released in the room- all of the air fizzing out of it. We're struggling against one of Newton's laws. Not gravity, or gravitas- but entropy.
It was the time to say goodbye for the last time to my Grandfather's house. Where the past was stronger than the present. Where the future didn't come into play. And soon will never come into play. It will remain a mental time capsule. I dream myself there most of the time. I have been dreaming about him and his home since I came home. Good dreams, not bad. Unsettling that I'm finally having to let go. I'm not good at that. I get nervous at letting those strings loose, and letting the balloon sail off into the night sky. Knowing that I'll never see it again. That it is a finite thing to begin with. But for a while it was mine.
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