Saturday, April 29, 2006

In a STATE, I tell ya.

Today Kenga made me go to the Walmarts. In the hood. Renton, if you must know. I hates me the Walmarts. Hates it. We used to live very near whilst in Bozeman, and I would do anything- anything to not go there on a weekend in particular. I would go to the KMart. I would go to the Target (don't call it Targeeyy like you're French, I know you come from Butte, sunshine.) But still, he would drag me to the Walmarts. Against my will, I proclaim! On our last trip to MT, we HAD to stop at the Walmarts in Missoula. Twice. Both ways. It about killed me.

It's not the teeming masses. It's not the sad truisms sung by poor Chris Isaaks on the sound system (IIIIII Don't wanna fall in love....with you). It's not the cheap, shoddy merchandise. It's the lack of home. Abandon all hope, ye who trod the cheaply made floors of the Walmarts. You will always feel alone, despite the nearness of your compatriots in the towering aisles. You will always avert your eyes from theirs and avoid making contact, because you will see yourself hiding inside. Cowering away from the light. Stuffing that bag of Reese's Peanut-butter Cups miniatures in the cart. Despite your professed aversion to carbs. (does peanut butter count as a carb? Or is it more of a protein?)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Peanut butter is considered a carb by all those low carb diets. I likes me the walmarts when I want CHEAP STUFF!!! Yay! And i will call it Targeeyy if I want, because I took a french class. Ha! Take that!

I found fabric today (finally) for your jacket, and it was on a HUGE sale, so I got it for a DOLLAR! WOW!!!! I was so excited! So, I am now going to do your jacket tommorow! Yay!!!!!!

I hope all is well, talk to you soon, and don't be afraid of Reeses, they're one of the best things in life for those of you that can have the dairys:)

Andrea

(S)wine said...

quit yer biotching.
although can't figure out WHAT you is more upset at: walss'-mart or going to da hood.
da hood ist gut.
da mart ist evil sure but like all evils--quite necessary.

fookin' Sam and his club...

slyboots2 said...

Da hood don't be scarin me none. Not at all. I lived in da hood in AZ, and on the distinctly wrong side of the tracks in Bozeman. Not the problem. It's the Walmarts itself. Evil...evil...evil....I can smell it when I enter the door. But yeah, I'm not the kinda "shop local and pay out of your ass" person. That kind of economic class snobbery can kiss my gigantic Reese's peanut butter cup eating ass!!!

Anonymous said...

the walmart in renton
is frightning.

frightning i tell you.

(i do like the seamless/tagless panties though)

slyboots2 said...

I don't think I've ever looked at panties at Walmart. Too afraid of what I would find, I guess. Gotta say it- I am a sucker for really comfy and not too skanky panties, though...but not enough to brave Renton on a weekend.