All right, darling one.

I thought about our conversation all night. And think that first, just breathe. Because that is important. He is nice. But probably not the one. Ditto the other one. 2 years in is about the time things get winky when they're not right. And that's normal.

Did I ever tell you about my 24th birthday? I spent the day crying. Because I was scared, alone and very, very unhappy. I had just kicked G. out after 4 years of not so greatness. I didn't know where I was going. I was out of money. I was just so unhappy. I don't think I've been that sad since.

So the point of that- well- you're of that age. When all becomes either determined or not. And the not isn't a negative thing- just another set of choices. In many ways, probably a braver and more challenging set of choices. Ultimately, you are on the track to figuring yourself out. If you succeed (and by that I mean get at least a partial handle on yourself- because more than that isn't possible, in my view), you'll have more to offer. To anyone else and to yourself. Because the goal at hand, again in my opinion, is to get as comfortable as possible in your own skin. I know people who have done this. I love them. They are my beacons of hope on bad days. They give me the confidence to know that it can be achieved. They aren't blissfully happy all the time. Only an idiot or a delusional would be that. But they have what so many lack- perspective. They understand how very temporary sadness can be. And that often it's a choice. They have the ability to spin. On a dime. And re-assess.

Now I'm really going to date myself. When I was little there was a song on the radio. My mother loved it, and sang along. I know the words too. Because I have that kind of memory, remember.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

The song makes me cry. Because I remember the little girl. And I remember the mother. And I remember the uncertainty. And I remember the hope. And I remember it all...and it's not bad now. It's very good. But the path here was sometimes hard. Harder than I care to relate. But it was all worth it. All of it.