We were discussing why I hate this job so very much last night. Kenga made the point that it pushes almost all of my buttons- no fixed location, no space of my own, early mornings, non-demanding-no- almost mindless work, etc. So I was thinking about that some more. And had one of those revelations that can probably only occur after years of expensive therapy.
When I was 20 I had a really crappy job. Makes this look like cake walk. I was cleaning the dorms at the university. What made it really nasty was that it wasn't just one cleaning per dorm. No- they function as a hotel during the summer months. The worst were the football players, followed very closely by a group of elderly bikers. Nasty. The bathrooms were just discouraging.
The particular issue that I ran into was that we were using lots of industrial cleaners and chemicals with no protection, either gloves or respirators. The shit ate through the gloves. So what was the point was the logic. After weeks of that, I developed bronchitis. I got better, but then a week later got another bout of bronchitis.
When I returned, the fat fucker who was my boss (drove around in his pickup everywhere, and looked like a walking heart attack- pox on his home) called me aside. He fired me, saying that it made no difference if I was there or not. I went to the room I was working on, and called my mom. I had never been fired before. I was crying. She said to get the hell out of there. Just stop. Leave the rest of the room for everyone else. She seemed pissed.
Knowing what I know now, I probably should've chalked up my illness to chemical exposure and filed a work comp claim. I was a young dumbass.
The whole experience reigns as my worst job ever. And it really hurt, to boot. So I think that this current job, at least the physical side of it, reminds me of that one. Thus I think I'm tapping into some of that memorial hardship. And I have to just push on through. It'll all be ok- and it's not rocket science. On a really good note- I do get to deal with really wonderful people, and I don't have to bring the work home. Ever.
11 more days.
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3 comments:
Oooh, yeah, probably. That makes sense. Of course, it could just be that you hate having those buttons pushed. End of story. Everybody has things that they hate. I, for example, hate working with guys who act like they're 12 years old. Ahem.
We're probably bringing chips and salsa this weekend. Although I'm craving "natural" cheese puffs. *drool*
Funny though- I kept telling myself that I can just get a mindless job and be happy at it. That was while I was looking for a non-mindless job. Now that I'm there, I'm seeing that I have some distinct inadequacies in that department. I don't think I'm horribly suited to this kind of thing over the long-term. Makes law school really, really attractive. And I KNOW that if I get in and go, I will be in a world of hurt. But it will be mentally challenging, rather than just showing up.
Love your salsa. That will make me happy. We might do the cheesy poofs. Kenga is talking about nice beer. But I have that ace in the hole for Jacob- that we discussed. It's wheat free!!!
What I really hate at my job are the meetings. It seems that I just go to work to attend meetings. I almost have no time to work on my stuff!
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