Getting the crap kicked out of me

From the inside out.

Something about the Ethiopian food last night was unsettling me pretty badly. So in the middle of the night, I was awake. And as is always the cast, things look very bad in the middle of the night. I was pondering the whole job/law school/ reality thing.

I am pretty convinced that I didn't get the job. It's just a feeling. Hopefully I'll find out tomorrow, and can then try for another one. There has to be more than one opening at the empire.

I got a letter from Seattle U that I'm on the waitlist for law school. Better than turned down cold, but that still might be the outcome. I'll have to see if there's anything that I can do to improve my chances. It's looking not so good, though. At least from the 3:00 AM sick tummy standpoint.

Went to coffee and donuts with Kenga this morning. It was nice. There was a homeless man outside bellowing for coffee. I gave him a couple of dollars. Mind you, all of my money is blood money in a way. I have worked my ass off for all of it. So it was a considered action. Why? Well, I think that he is having a worse day than I'll ever have. Hope he got his coffee. I had a pink, twirly donut. It was yummy. But my tummy hurts again, so it wasn't necessarily a good idea. Either that or it's a tumor. That's the mood of the day. Lucky Kenga. I'll just bury myself in some movies or something. Definately good sometimes to hibernate.

I am getting tired of the ass kicking that I am receiving though. The novelty has worn off. And now it's just getting to the point where I am wondering what kind of lesson I'm supposed to learn from it all. If there is actually a lesson to learn. Or if it's just the reality for the rest of my life. Also ran. Second best. B+ student. I contemplate that all with some amount of humor (oh- the self pity of it all...) but also with some amount of chagrin. Can't deny that it's been a rotten situation on many levels.

Gonna go watch some Lympics, I think. And try not to drown in my own sorrowful morass....poor me. To quote Nancy Kerrigan, "Why me???"

(apologize for the last part- it's pretty much a joke- I would never seriously quote Nancy Kerrigan. Never.)