And furthermore

Because if there is a dead horse in the proximity, you can find me flogging it...

More on intent. Nothing really original, really. Just wondering if its possible to plumb the psyche creatively and NOT expose all of the latent bullshit that resides in there. If it's possible to remain creatively objective and not create total shit.

I just don't know. The fine art stuff didn't hold up to this. It was chock full o nuts. Mine own, of course. Only the subtext wasn't necessarily shared. But this is another thing entirely. I just lack the answers.

I wish I had them. I wish that I had something with clarity. I sometimes wish for total anonymity online- because I want to rave at the world and not face the immediate consequences. I want to post the unapproachable and the unacceptable. And the misinterpretable. Instead I walk the middle path, probably pleasing no one, including myself.

And then I start to scan the blogs out there, and realize that most of the raving is crap. And predictable. And just plain silly. Painfully embarrassing, even. But that's the nature of this thing, no?

But god forbid I lose my dignity in the bargain. Sweet jesu, it's bloody ridiculous. I thought once upon a time that I wasn't at all concerned about appearances. Guess that was crap too. Because it seems that I am. I can couch it in terms of compassion and caring, but it all boils down to being concerned enough to cover my own ass.

And just not wanting to have some types of conversations. Period. They wear me out. And we'll leave it at that.