Sleighbells ring, are you listening?

Bitterness sinks into the bones. Rendering them heavy and brittle. Both at once. Like some strange radioactive isotope- only found in the lab, under stressful conditions, and for a moment at a time.

That feeling- of sinking deeper into the warp and weft of tissue- is complicated. There's a single-mindedness to it. There's a monomoniacal aspect not to be ignored. Because overall, it's all about the me. Or the you, as the case may be.

But to really dive in. To dive as deep as it goes. Requires either bravery or stupidity. Or just some very good drugs. Your choice. Pick a winner. (or pick a winno)Because coming up for air isn't always an option. Like the mythical acid trip that my friends warned me about. Never would share the goods. Always said I couldn't deal with it. "You can't HANDLE the truth." I call shenanegans.

And that's to say that it's a desirable thing. To go deep. To receive the pass from mid-field. While the cheerleaders do their prancy little sexy thing. And all the boys want to be a hero. Just for one day.

Sometimes superficial appears to be the only option. Because if you're not alone, or have limited time or resources, the deep diving is impossible. No one can come along for the ride. It's not a thing that can be shared. So how are you today? Well, fine thanks. Great weather. Yeah, no rain. Did you find a parking space? Yeah, luckily....ad infinitum.

Because you want to shield others from the sheer mass of volume in the head-screaming and screaming and screaming. I WANT OUT. I WANT IN. I WANT. Because wanting is easier than having. Because once you have it, what the hell do you do with it? Put it in a closet. Or just try to cram it into the available spaces. Because once you have it, the reality of it takes over. Making the imaginary romance of the unobtainable and desirable vanish like a dream of mist on the water.

And to answer an unasked question, yes, I did just get back from Christmas shopping, thank you.