Am on vacation until the 30th. Don't know if I will get a chance to say anything- but will be back then fur sure!

Adios!

We're getting ready for our vacation. It's the semi-annual pilgrimage across the state of MT. If you need to look at a map, ok- just please return. So we start in Spokane for an auspicious event (you know who you are!), bestow good wishes and presents and then drive crazy far to Billings. It will be hot. It will be very, very hot.

Then we will visit some friends in Bozeman, and on to Helena. Then we will make our way to parts north. And finally wrap it all up in a tidy bow and come home.

I will be offline from work. It will be painful, I just know it. The casual habit I have of checking my email when I am bored on my phone will end when we cross the border into Idaho. (no, you da ho) I refuse to log in while I am away. They will have to endure without me. The only thing I fear, besides fear itself, is the sheer volume of crap that will collect in my email box. It will be amazing I guarantee.

And there you have it. I will likely be online in more personal ways. That will ease the pain of being away from technology a bit.

Want some paranoia with that coffee? Well, if not, look away. Because it is percolating quite nicely around here.

So with the news that the Bush administration is not only aiding the mortgage industry after years of that group of individuals acting like cowboys on the high plains circa 1870, I am wondering who benefits the most.

Also there is news that Bush has lifted restrictions on off-shore drilling, despite estimates that it will take years for that oil to reach the market, if they find it quickly. I am wondering who benefits the most.

I have always approached this group of people with a sense of dread and caution (and thus have finally outed myself as a raving liberal, no?). Mainly because I believe that they use Machiavelli as textbook material- not Bush, he probably couldn't pronounce the name properly, but no doubt has a cliff notes version hidden away somewhere. Every move that they make appears calculated to me. I honestly have a strong suspicion that the current oil crisis is manufactured to provide an immense assist to the oil interests that helped get Bush elected. Something about that whole chummy relationship with his father and the Saudi royal family and all that. There is just too much back room snorgeling for my taste.

And it shouldn't surprise anyone, I suppose. Just that this was supposed to be the party that took big government out of our everyday affairs. But here it is. Big government is going to help with our banking, our gas and oil hunting, and will be able to listen to our phone conversations without much ado. I hope they enjoy mine. Very, very pleb. Nothing interesting at all. Pity the poor sot who has to monitor my life. Really do pity him/her.

Saw Eddie Izzard last night. Bloody brilliant. And disconcertingly similar to our friend Cory. Scary the mannerisms and movements. So very alike...

The dominatrix who writes a column in one of the local weeklies sat in the row in front of me. Yes, I recognized her. Because she advertises with an actual picture and all. The row in front of her was filled with the largest people I have ever seen. Packed. Seat to seat largeness. I have never seen such an assortment of very big people in one place in Seattle. Ever. I don't know why Izzard would draw that crowd. I expected more gay men and drag queens. But it was mostly large people. And older people.

But brilliant.

Then came home, popped another migraine pill to kill the persistent headache and didn't sleep all night. Until around what-the-fuck-am. So there you have it. But Izzard rocked it. Like he owned it. And I guess he likely did.

(no, wasn't in drag last night. But still fabulous)

Computer is broken. We are taking extreme measures to salvage the docs on the hard drive. But in the interim, there is no playing, so I will be kind of quiet for a while. Not to think that I have nothing to say- I do. It is just going to be more difficult....sigh...

Oh- one piece of news that brought great delight to my day yesterday (besides the fabulous haircut that I got from a young woman from (of all places) Ennis, MT)- the batshit nasty boss who made my life hell before this job (remember her?) got demoted. HAH! We'll call it karma. And the ugly little person who was my workout partner who ditched me to work for that nasty boss- she has a new boss. HAH! We'll call that irony. They can both rot in hell. No, not holding a grudge so much.

So that is about all. For now. Thank you, come again.

In another insomniac slump. But only until I fall asleep. The the dreams have me. And I wake. Again and again. The only thing keeping the dreams at bay is the cat on my leg. He grounds me. He is warm and reminds me that if a cat is here, the dream isn't real. And as long as I can make that logic work, I can sleep again. But then I wake up tired, and it was all wasted effort.

We saw a blue man at the store. Not blue like the Vegas performers. That would be cheesy. This was a blue man. Like the idiots who ingest too much colloidal silver. It's stupid, really. If you turn blue, you were a dumbass. He was creepy. I didn't make eye contact. I have a feeling he is probably used to this reaction by now. If not, well, bummer dude. You drank too much colloidal silver.

So Ms. Crankypants has her comeuppance coming. Seems she was a dumbass and screwed up something at work, and didn't come clean about it immediately. Seems it slipped her mind (might've been hope at work- hope that no one would notice), and she didn't think to be brave and tell anyone. Seems that they did notice. As per usual. So now she gets to be a grown up about it and fill them in on what happened. And it wasn't her fault. But the not telling anyone anything does conjure up shades of self-loathing.

And all on the same day that she got accolades for a major fire drill last week....sigh....that'll teach her.

Since there are a proliferation of rules books on the shelves, I figure I can add to the fray. Just because I have a few opinions, which should be quite a revelation to all.

1. Never, never, never name your food. Do you hear me 4-Hers???? It is an extremely bad idea. Those animals are not pets. Don't do it. You will regret it. The whole thing will end in tears.

2. If you decide to drive in the state of WA, please remember that the left lane is for passing only. Even if you are going the speed limit. Get your crappy ass over to the right. And keep your smug to yourself. It incites rage, and will also end in tears.

3. Wear sunblock. I have had melanoma. It scared the crap out of me. I have a 4" long scar on my left shoulder. It will remain with me forever. It is where the tiny little mole became a problem. I look at all of my moles now with a combination of fear and respect. I do not wish this upon anyone. Wear sunblock.

4. If you are on a diet, chain restaurants are a bad idea. For the most part they will not post the caloric values of their food. They are not your friend. They don't mind if you get fat. They certainly don't mind if you order more. TGIFridays, I am talking to you. Ditto Chilis and Applebees. Plus, their food is crappy and full of additives. There is likely a local place that would make a good alternative. Use your imagination.

5. Don't leave food on your deck for your pets or the squirrels. It attracts raccoons. They have thumbs. They are really rather evil. We have one who we now call Nooner who shuffles across our deck around noon daily looking for peanuts. Because someone in the house thought that the squirrels needed them. And always wanted a pet squirrel. I think that someone in the house secretly wishes he was Veruka Salt. From the last Wonka movie. Only without the Mary Jane's.

6. Pirates no doubt smelled bad. And had bad oral hygiene, resulting in lowered lifetime expectancy. And I suspect that they were all a bunch of barely functioning alcoholics, who probably had more than their fare share of blackouts and drunken sex with very unsavory characters. And no, I doubt seriously that they looked anything like Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp. Get over it. You do not want to be a pirate. Ever try crapping over the side of a boat? Bet you have to have really good balance.

7. Beer should have a flavor. If it doesn't it is not worth ingesting. Even on a hot day. Drink water, the caloric intake will make your metabolism happier.

8. Nasty tattoos of hearts, flowers, the Tasmanian devil, unicorns and other sundry things should never happen on your chest. You will regret it. Go to your local VFW and take a good look at the ink on those guys. Then think about what you are planning on doing. And visualize 30 or so years from now. Just do it. If it still seems like a good idea, well, you are an idiot. Stop reading and go away. I wash my hands of you.

9. People in the money industry are typically greedy and love money. Don't be surprised if this causes financial shenanigans and scandals. Common sense says it is typical.

10. Keep your kitchen and your bathroom spotless. If any of these smell, you are a pig, and probably make yourself sick from food/fecal contamination on a regular basis. Those "smell reducing" sprays would be unnecessary if you just got off of your lazy ass and took out the garbage.

And that is all for tonight. Couldn't sleep so decided that it would be a great idea to spew venom onto the web for all and sundry. Why the hell not? If a chucklehead like Rush can do it on the airwaves, at least I know that the functionally literate will have access to my overwrought opinions. Heh.

So after all is said and done, he can still amaze me. There is something completely generous in his character that finds its way to the top at times like that. And leaves me breathless with both wonder and gratitude.

Where the hell did you come from?

How the hell did I find you?

Man. I guess I had better make it right no matter what. I can't waste this opportunity. No way, no how. Mainly because I know damned good and well that there will never be another like this one. Never.

Silly boy, now you are on my list for good.

Get used to it, sunshine.

It's been an appallingly quiet week- just busy doing stupid things at work that require lots of coordination, concentration, and leave me exhausted. So I come home and fall asleep on the couch, watching Stephen Colbert. And then Kman comes in from doing things in the man cave downstairs (there have been car and motorcycle projects in the offing all week) and tells me to go to bed. It is silly. And it is my life lately.

Not much in my head other than getting through it all, putting the boss on a plane, and having time to catch up on things that got shoved into other corners of my head in the last couple of weeks. I did, however, read an amazing short story by a friend. It gave me the resolution and one hell of a good angle for my book. That part had been floundering a bit. So this was what it needed. And I am happy. Just need the energy and discipline to sit and write it.

I have also been going to the gym. Which is probably part of the falling asleep on the couch story. Am up to 20 minutes on the stair machine, followed by 10 on the treadmill. I hate it. Like I hate poison. The band. Just because. But it is helping firm up parts that are best firmed.

Today is a check up for Timmy the cat. We think that we have dialed in the insulin pretty well. He seems perkier than he has been for a very long time, and I keep finding him on our bed- which for a while he couldn't reach. So either he has an assistant putting them there, or he is actually able to jump. I opt to believe the latter.

Nothing else. Just winding down the day and getting giddy about having days off.