I don't really believe in resolutions- at least not the fly-by-night New Year's kind. Those are almost always doomed to failure- something about being overly ambitious.
But the following list is of things that I can guarantee I will not do next year. Or any future year, for that matter.
1. I will not wear leg warmers. I found a pair from High School (not the musical, but the highly regrettable reality) in a box with some sweaters that I brought back from the storage depot at my Mother's ranch. They will be appropriately disposed of. Unless anyone wants them- any takers?
2. I will not wear gaucho pants. Or any other similarly cropped pants. Makes my overly developed calves look like tree trunks. (thank you track and field- for the calves, I mean) I haven't looked good in those since 5th grade, and even then it was sketchy. I thought I looked good. But in pictures, reality is a little different. But I was in 5th grade, so was a cute kid anyway. Not so much now.
3. I will not wear heels over 2". Old lady back. That's that.
4. I will not attempt to drink 9 gin and tonics in one sitting. That was the last time I thought I was going to die in the bathroom. It was years ago, and I haven't forgotten the pain. Or the 5 voice mails I left on Kboy's cell phone. All about how I was going to die. He was out of our service area. Which is good. He didn't need to be there. It was just my own little "situation" to handle, and there wasn't anything he could do to contribute.
5. I will not break our pillow rule again. We travel with our pillows. It helps with the sleeping in different beds on road trips. At least one thing is constant that way. Our pillows are nice. They are our friends. They were missed during the last road trip.
6. And apparently I will not be forgetting the Bon Jovi lyrics to Dead or Alive anytime soon. They are still echoing in my head. Gotta thank the friends for that one. Oh yeah. Because I am a cowboy. And on a steel horse I ride. Fuck.......meh.
That should do. I can't really think of any other hard and fast rules that I have. I'm sure others will occur to me, but some are far too personal to post on the internet. And others are just plain embarrassing. You all don't need to know all the stupid/silly stuff that I have done and don't care to repeat in this lifetime. That's all.
Be careful tonight, and have fun! Wear a condom. Don't drive angry.
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4 comments:
Missed you! Right now, our New Year's resolution is to not let the twins have baby bottles anymore. It's not currently going well. :(
But I hate seeing a big toddler drinking out of a bottle. It is time.
i'll take those legwarmers, thank you.
and go halfsies w/the gin and tonics.
...and make up for the rest with martinis.
pee-ess: madame and i may one day call on you to show us around town; your way is where i'd like to find myself sometime in '08 for a little visit.
Baby does want his/her bottle. Baby. That's what we say to each other at home when whining commences...and it's not very nice. I'm sure you will prevail. And your children's overbites will thank you.
And Sir Swine, you might just get a package with some fetching brown wool leg warmers some time soon. It could happen. And keep me posted on travel plans- there are lots of things either free or blissfully cheap to see. And do. And I am aware of some of them.
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