Friday, January 16, 2009

I've been thinking more and more about how very interesting the whole choices as destiny thing is. I can't help but fixate a bit on how one choice, that might seem inconsequential, can have the momentum and ability to shift a life forever. Not just the "driving down that road on that day" like in "Adaptation". But more like the decision that a person can make that basically dooms them through the resultant choices. The one tipping point that creates a downward spiral. The one that just can't be undone. I think that prisons are full of those kinds of realities. And in a less dramatic sense, lots of unhappy lives are part of that decision process.

Just been thinking about it a lot.

And as a postscript to my poor aunt's tale, seems that they found undiagnosed and untreated MS when they conducted the autopsy. Fuckers. Fuckers. Fuckers. Oh, and she died of pneumonia. Ah, the rage is building...

2 comments:

Sean said...

The above post needed some editing and extra explanation, so here is the revised version:

There is no such thing as choice. It's an illusion. Exploring this logically and admitting it will allow forgiveness. Who is there to blame if there is no choice? When someone dies, pain can drive a person to find that one area in the sequence of events leading up to the death where someone "made a bad choice." It's easy to gloss over all of the other events where it's clear that nature or the universe was making the choices. The fact is, even in the instance when a person made a poor choice, or many of them, that was also the universe, nature. There is no one to blame and nothing happened that wasn't exactly as it should have happened.

We can be aware of the fact that things cannot be other than they are, or we can fight reality and believe the story that they should be otherwise.

My remaining grandmother and grand uncle both died last month of Alzheimer's, so I have had plenty of opportunities to deal with this issue recently. I would prefer that you feel the pain of loss without experiencing the suffering. If you continue to fight with reality, you will continue to suffer.

Much love,
Sean

slyboots2 said...

Oh Sean, so sorry about your Grandmother and Uncle. That is so hard. My Grandmother is in that place now- she's the one who I expected to get the call about. But you know, I have been thinking about choice and all that for some time now. And it's such a loaded topic- the Greeks had a heyday with it. I am totally in love with the concept of redemption. And that there is an allowance for second chances. I do know that this is likely delusional, but I find it comforting.

The upshot in my Aunt's tale is that redemption is being delivered by my mom and uncles. They are actually finishing some things that she left undone. And all will be well. If not happy, at least complete. And that makes all the difference in the world to me. Not that I expect tidy existences, but that the effort to fix the wrongs is made with sincerity and love.

So there you have it. Thank you for the kind words- we would love to see you again soon! Say hello to your lovely lady, and talk to you later!